1st STEP GIVEN: THANK YOU MADONNA (AND THANK YOU EVERYONE!)

OMG! Madonna shared on her Instagram/Facebook stories my “Medellín” video on May 1st 2019. This is a HUGE accomplishment on my campaign and the first step to make my dream come true!

I should write about this because I’m still without believe it. For some of you, maybe this is not important, because you might have taken a picture with her, met her on stage or are even friends with her – but for me this IS SO IMPORTANT. This is the first time that Madonna reposts a video of mine. It has been 7 years and one month of campaign, with 47 videos and every time I make a video is a way to escape my reality. I would better say: a way to relieve our reality. This is what is to be fan is about. Now I am going to share a bit of my story with Madonna:

Since 1985, she has been inspiring me when I was only a 5 years old child watching that stunning girl singing Dress You Up. Back then, I was living in Brazil, and Madonna, Cindy Lauper and Nina Hagen were THE 3 superstars. But Madonna had always caught my attention. She was the one with real attitude, with a message. I remember growing up in a homophobic society and watching Madonna with short hair on Papa Don’t Preach video. And for me, as a 6 years old child who was already aware that was gay, it was a relief, a signal that girls don’t need to have long hair and guys can also have long hair (vide La Isla Bonita). That simple short hair of Madonna showed me that I could be myself. She has no idea of how that short hair was important for me.

Years later, when I was 9, I was almost exploding the speakers of my sister’s “micro-system” listening to Like a Prayer and when I first saw the video: WOW! That confused child who thought that being gay was something forbidden, a sin, could see that this whole thing of sin has to do with people’s heart. Sin for me is violence and hate. She was my hero! She could kiss a black guy without prejudice. She could burn crosses, but not to burn other people faith, but to give them HOPE, as she did with me.

One year later, she came with Vogue, and even if I still don’t know how to dance, I saw myself locked in my room trying to repeat her movements and I felt FREE. I so remember watching “Truth or Dare” secretly, without my mom noticing it, and looking at the dancers kissing each other like this was supposed to be a normal thing, and it was! I was 11 years old and even if I was still a child with no sexuality developed, was still important for me to see that there is nothing wrong with kissing a guy. Again, that there was not something forbidden! Some months later, I saw it again, on Justify my Love. She was my MADAME X teacher, teaching me that I should follow my heart! I remember that at the age of 13 I managed to see some pages of “sex” and instead of getting confused, I was learning how to open my eyes.

In 1993, she came to Brazil, I was only 13 years old and it was her first time there. I just remember of how frustrated I was: first, because I used to live in a city (Fortaleza) at least 3 hours, by airplane, far away from Rio or São Paulo. Second, because I was too young and even if I would be allowed to go to her concert, I wouldn’t have the money to do so (I come from a family of 5 siblings and my family’s priority was to pay our studies). Still, I was watching every little thing on Brazilian TV about her and was recording it on the videocassette recorder borrowed from my uncle.

When she released Secret on the year later, it was my jam. And with Take a Bow, I dreamed about having a love as the one I have now 🙂 I remember discussing with my uncle which CD case was the most beautiful one: Bedtimes Stories or Something to Remember. They were both unique and stylish back then, with cyan and white colours. My favourite one was Bedtimes Stories 🙂 I remember that I got as Christmas gift 3 Bedtimes Stories CDs and every Christmas I was getting the same Madonna CD more than once 🙂

When Madonna released the soundtrack of Evita, I was learning English with the lyrics of “Don’t Cry for me Argentina” and “You Must Love Me”. I remember once a teacher stopped the programming lesson (I was also studying computer science back then) because I was singing “Don’t Cry for me Argentina” while trying to solve an algorithm. I thought that I was singing for myself – but then I realised that I was singing for the whole classroom.

There is also another episode at school that I’d like to share. Back when she released Ray of Light, on March 3rd 1998, I hadn’t managed to assemble the money to buy it. I was a 18 years old student with no budget at all. All of my classmates knew how in love I was with Madonna. So I remember asking for each of them (almost asking alms) 1 Real (the Brazilian currency). So, the CD costed 17,50 Reais and I managed to collect this money from 18 classmates 🙂 I was so not shy to do that and when I went to the shop, the saleswoman, who was already my friend due to endless Madonna conversations, gave me a huge smile and the teaser poster from Ray of Light! I remember having goosebumps when I heard the first notes of Drowned World! And so fell in love with The Power of Goodbye. Skin, Sky fits heaven, Nothing really matters were also stuck on my head.

I also remember when a Brazilian journalist interviewed her back then and Madonna was fucking impatient with this woman pretending to be the smart one. I was recording it on the VCR from my uncle again, and so her performance at the Grammys in 1999. When Beautiful stranger was released, it became one of my favourite Madonna’s songs – if not my favourite, together with The Power of Goodbye, Dress you Up, You’ll see and so many others.. I remember forcing my sister to include Beautiful Stranger on her set list (she is a singer as well) and the audience was just sort of feeling it strange (she was singing in a restaurant for old people who were expecting grandpa Brazilian classic music).

2000. At the time, I was already at the university studying journalism. I remember that in every semester I had my notebook personalised with Madonna pictures. Once, 2 guys saw me walking with the notebook (the real notebook to take notes) and called me from all the possible bad names for gay, such as faggot or something worse. They asked me if I was not ashamed to have Madonna on the cover of my notebook. I replied that I was ashamed of them, communications students, with prejudice. Every little semester after this episode, I had my notebooks covered with Madonna. And at the end of my course, in 2003, I made my thesis about Madonna, and I graduated with honours for my bachelor degree, analysing Post Modernity through her videoclips, as a case study. The thesis’ title was: “Saint, pornographic or violent? the analysis of Madonna identities through videoclip”. The audience was huge for my presentation. And there I was showing fragments of Like a Prayer, Erotica and What if Feels like for a girl. Back then, I also wrote a review about American Life for the main newspaper from my city 🙂 I remember saying that it was one of the best Madonna albums – and I still think like this.

In 2001, Madonna went on tour. Unfortunately she didn’t come to Brazil and I was following everything on Internet. I even made a Brazilian friend who is also an Iconer: Alessio, who lives in LA, and he was reporting every concert he attended to me. I felt frustrated because I had no money and was living far away, but I knew that my time would come some day. On the year after, it was the first time I kissed a guy and guess which song I was listening to? Die another day!

In 2004, again I felt frustrated because I couldn’t attend the Reinvention Tour. I had no budget at all and again Madonna didn’t come to Brazil. For the Confessions Tour was initially announced that she would come to Rio, and back then I was living there. I was dazzled with the opportunity to see her finally live. But she cancelled it.

Now some drama begins. Back to 2008, I was already living in Europe, in Rome. I remember that I had bought a Golden Circle ticket to the Sticky and Sweet tour in Berlin, because I was afraid that Rome would be too crowded and I’d like to experiment Madonna for the first time in a more quiet atmosphere. Unfortunately, I got seriously sick and went to the hospital. I’ve been there for 10 days and I missed the concert. It was one of the saddest moments of my life. I moved back to Brazil still sick and Madonna finally confirmed presentations in Rio and São Paulo. But I was still sick and my doctors forbid me to attend the concert 😦 I don’t need to tell you how miserable I felt.

I felt so frustrated that I promised to myself (while crying and listening to Miles Away in December of 2008) that when I would be healthy again, I would do something remarkable and that she would notice me. That’s how I started the “I will meet Madonna” campaign. Initially, I thought it as my PHD project, since I was without a job here in Amsterdam and I should keep myself busy. But later on, I managed to get a job and come back to my promise to continue with this project as a personal one. I decided to follow my dream, to maybe one day meet her and say face to face that she has always been my life hero.

So the rest of the campaign you guys know… UFF! This has been a long testimonial and I still didn’t manage to share everything I would like to. But my message is that everything I’ve been doing so far regarding Madonna (and also in other fields of my life) is with LOVE. And I am so happy to have found my love. My boyfriend, who is in this video that Madonna shared, saw how sad I was for some things that I’ve been facing lately and he wanted to put a smile on my face. He was the one who actually suggested me to make the video and he was living the lyrics of Medellín while dancing with me.

PS: he doesn’t know how to dance, neither I, but we were just loving each other.

I really thank all of the fans I met here and I won’t give up! Thank you to all Iconers who have been supporting me, instead of wishing the worst for me. Love generates love. And I believe in love. And I believe I WILL MEET MADONNA.


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